Magic Microwave (assignment 3)
There was a boy who lived with his mother in the countryside. They were poor and they had trouble with food and they were hungry. Once the boy walked down the road and saw a sign where he could win a brand new microwave so the boy was like why not to compete so he participated in the competition.
Next day he got delivered a package and was really exciting because he won a brand new microwave. Later on, his mother said that they don't have any food to warm inside of it but the boy really didn't care so he just turned the microwave on and suddenly it started to make weird noises and was trembling. His mother was terrified and told his son to not go too near the microwave but the boy didn't listen and opened the microwave anyway and it was full of food. Both of them were in shock and tried the food and it was actually eatable, they were fine and made more food by using the Magic microwave.
After a few days later his mother had an idea to open a shop so they could make a profit from infinite food they had. They got wealthy and never had to worry about getting hungry. They lived happily ever after.
Next day he got delivered a package and was really exciting because he won a brand new microwave. Later on, his mother said that they don't have any food to warm inside of it but the boy really didn't care so he just turned the microwave on and suddenly it started to make weird noises and was trembling. His mother was terrified and told his son to not go too near the microwave but the boy didn't listen and opened the microwave anyway and it was full of food. Both of them were in shock and tried the food and it was actually eatable, they were fine and made more food by using the Magic microwave.
After a few days later his mother had an idea to open a shop so they could make a profit from infinite food they had. They got wealthy and never had to worry about getting hungry. They lived happily ever after.
This was really nice! It was definitely original. I could only notice a couple of minor errors in grammar, but otherwise it was well-written. This was pretty short, I mean, you told everything the reader truly needs to know, but I feel like you could have shown off your great writing skills even more. I liked the fact that you took advantage of different sentence structures, but you could have tried to utilize more " colorful expressions " or just less common words, especially if you are going to repeat them. But this was good. Just pay attention to grammar.
VastaaPoistaQuite an exquisite piece of writing. It was short, yet silly. So it floats my boat if not anyone else's. There were only minor mistakes. Firstly, I noticed that the sentences run on for a little to long, and it was missing punctuation. So having a comma before "but" is good to remember, and also sometimes your sentences ran on for longer than they needed to. So simply try to remember to look and see if your sentences feel stretched out as you write. Otherwise the story was nice, short and pretty easy to read and understand. The story however ended pretty hastily, so the conclusion of the story could've been a bit longer and explanatory.
VastaaPoista